I know tons of people don’t approve, understand, accept, want or even consider Long Distance Relationships especially of the D/s type. I, personally, love it. I love it for many reasons and will try to explain it the best I can.
Words. Words are probably one of the best ways to get me turned on. It requires intelligence to utilize words and get the reaction desired. If I am exchanging emails, texts or chat with someone that stimulates my brain (and more), I will read and re-read our exchanges. It builds a wonderful tension, leaves me wanting more and reveling in the fact that someone can push my buttons without ever having touched me.
Being commanded to do something online or over the phone still leaves me the choice to do it or not, but if they have hit those buttons I so crave to be hit then there is no choice. I will obey. They have captured my mind and that is the most important part. Most anyone can fuck, inflict physical pain and dominate in person, but to find someone that can make me blush only using their words when I am alone and at home is something special.
Back when I was still floating on a boat in Mexico and I had just started talking to Daddy, he had me in the palm of his hands. Even though I was 1,500 miles away and couldn’t directly interact with him in the flesh, that didn’t deter me. I lived to wake up and chat with him, to get more instructions, to give myself to him without even needing him right there in the same room. He would keep track of my demerits on a chart with varying degrees of punishment for different offenses. That was something that drove me crazy in a good way. I wanted to please Daddy, but I also knew he wanted to punish me so I couldn’t always avoid being naughty. I would also test limits by purposely not doing things to see if he would hold me to the punishment. When I found out he would hold me to it and not leave empty threats, I was a goner. Also to know what punishments lie ahead was enough to put butterflies in my tummy anytime I would look at the chart (I looked at it often). Even though I no longer have a D/s relationship with my Daddy, I still look back on those memories and swoon. He set a *very* high standard for LDR D/s.
There is a dedication tied to LDR D/s that should be acknowledged. If one has a constant physical reminder of being in a D/s relationship like seeing, living with, physically playing with a Dom its not hard to stay in that state of mind. With LDR D/s that physical reminder can be lacking so the constant hold on the mind and that is one of the only reminders one gets. I am not saying LDR D/s is better, mind you, I am merely saying it is impressive when physical presence isn’t needed to have the same or similar effect as a physically interactive D/s relationship.
If LDR D/s seems too hard for some of you to understand, imagine getting a text from your Dom commanding you to do something or sending your sub instructions while you happen to be separated whether it be work related or something else of the like. That task would be done as soon as possible regardless if the Dom is present or not because it doesn’t lessen the effect they have on you no matter the distance. That is what LDR D/s feels like to me. Its constant being on ones toes. Not knowing what the next day will bring or tasks that may or may not be assigned. The quickening of heartbeats when an IM window or text pops up. That makes the LDR D/s just as amazing as real time D/s.
All that said, I generally won’t get myself into a D/s relationship if I never plan to see them (there are always exceptions to the rule), but I think its fine if others want to do that. If my ideal Dom was half a world away and the only way I could ever enjoy that would be an online LDR D/s relationship, why wouldn’t I? That doesn’t mean I couldn’t look for local play to get some physical enjoyment as well. I won’t do LDR D/s if it is exclusive. No one gets that kind of control over me, however, if I chose not to seek local play then it would be my decision and mine alone. Trust me though, that wouldn’t ever happen 🙂
So lately I have been leaning more towards finding a LDR D/s relationship. It opens more windows and while I am still “looking” locally, I am just lying in wait for whatever good comes my way no matter if the way it makes its entrance is online or in person.