A “how to” guide for spanking

**This post is for adults interested in consensual and/or consensual non-consent that want to incorporate spanking into their lives or play**

When it comes to spankings (and most types of play) warm ups are important for a few different reasons. Warm ups are an introduction to the spanker and their technique as well as how the bottom will react to the spanking. It is an introduction to the physical nature of the scene taking place. Warm ups also allow the bottom (aka person being spanked) to endure more swats and generally more spankings=happier spankee if said spankee is a spanko like me. Warm ups also will keep the bruising at bay for a longer amount of time which can mean more play time if you tend to stop at taut skin or speckled bruises.

There generally should be a warm up when it comes to spankings unless it’s a discipline/punishment scene and it’s meant to be more the severe type of discipline. Don’t get me wrong, I love my discipline/punishment play as much or more than the next person, but when those scenes are in play, *that* tone, my first and middle name growled in my ear, getting yanked over a lap and a hard hand spanking is all the warm up I expect.

A warm up consists of soft swats ramping up to harder swats over some time. There is no set amount of time that a warm up should last, but there are subtle ways of letting the bottom know the warm up is over. If I am over a knee or lap and being spanked, if there is a pause for a lecture, rolling up sleeves or even just flipping up my skirt, I am going on the assumption that the swats will be getting harder.

There are also ways of finding out if the bottom needs more of a spanking if you cant read the body language and don’t want to halt the scene by straight up asking. If you aren’t sure if your bottom has had enough, you can ask a question like, “Are you going to behave now?” If you get any answer other than “Yes” then your bottom probably needs more of a spanking. That is also a good time to spank harder and faster.

The goal of a spanking scene shouldn’t be to get the bottom to safeword out or even cry unless that has been pre-negotiated. The goal should be equal enjoyment from the act of spanking and leaving both the spanker and spankee content. Thats not to say you cant fuck each other into oblivion after the spanking if that is what will make the scene work for you, I am just saying that in play terms its about the fun, the reactions, the discipline, the “punishment”, the mind fuck or even just the intimacy of being so vulnerable for someone.

Moving on to spanking with implements. There are many types of implements that can be incorporated into spankings but I’m going to focus on paddles for a moment. When spanking with paddles, there are many types to choose from. There are thick, thin, paddles with holes, solid paddles, small paddles good for using while still over a lap and there are larger “school” or “frat” paddles. All of these paddles are delicious in their own way and all of them need to be used with caution as they can cause harm if used poorly.

How hard one can paddle a bottom’s bottom is going to vary with each person. There are simple things that can be done to ensure you can make it comfortably uncomfortable for the spankee. Pause between swats and let the bottom process the pain. You can rub the freshly smacked bottom between hits and read body language. If I am being paddled and I want more, I will push my ass back out and present it for more torment. If I need a second to recover, my foot may fly up and try to shield my bum for a moment. In the time I am told to resume the position, I will usually be ready for the next swat. Make sure to communicate with the bottom if you aren’t sure if they can handle or want more is really the bottom line (yes, pun intended).

If you are using a belt or an implement that wraps, be cautious of that. The tip of the flexible implement will move at a faster speed than the rest of the implement so be sure to move the hits around unless you are going for the evil SDS (same damn spot) placement of swats. Belts have a tendency to wrap if the swat is not perfectly placed and by wrap I mean not hit where the intended target is, but hit off target. If you are aiming for the butt and the belt wraps and hits the side of the leg…yeah, that sucks. It just means you should scoot back/to the side a little more and re-aim after giving the wrapped spot a quick rub. That quick rub will let the bottom know that it was seen and not intentional and that you will try not to do it again. All that can be said with a touch. Pretty cool, huh?

When it comes to canes, its another story entirely. Canes are a serious implement. I love them. I hate them. I love hating them. There are so many types of canes and materials canes are made from that its not even funny. If its thin and whippy, it is stingy and does carry the risk of wrapping and possibly breaking skin if its a hard hit. If the cane is thicker, it will have more of a deep “thud” sensation which tends to cause deeper bruising if its used hard and/or for an extended period of time. Canes used properly on someone that loves them, you will both be happy with the result. If canes are used as a punishment implement, be aware that it doesn’t take many hits until the lesson will be learned.

These statements about paddles, belts and canes aren’t meant to discourage you from using them. It is meant to inform you that implements can cause harm and they need to be wielded properly. Check in with the bottom, start gentle, pause between harder hits and you should have very little problem.

I didn’t cover many implements, types of swats, “sweet spots” or “sit spots” but I will save that for another time and another post. This is just supposed to be a little friendly advice on spanking someone that wants to be spanked or is willing to give it a try. Hope you all enjoy.

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2 Responses to A “how to” guide for spanking

  1. Pingback: Weekend hyperkinks #5 | Spanked, Not Silenced

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