Me: “Do you want me to call you Daddy?”
Him: stunned silence. “Do you want to call me Daddy?”
Me: “Do you want me to want to call you Daddy?”
Him: Wait. What does that mean?
Me: “What do you mean ‘what does it mean?’ It means I would call you Daddy.'”
Him: “Explain what that means.”
Despite what this conversation may show, I don’t lack communication skills, but this caught us both off guard (yeah, interesting story that I wont go into) so I’m going to write this post with the thought that I can help someone else from having a silly conversation like the above one. I’m going to write about Daddies and some of the different roles they can play (that are of interest or I’ve experienced).
I don’t call men Daddy lightly, it’s very intimate and vulnerable for me to call someone Daddy. I will have a special relationship and it involves trusting the “Daddy” 100%. Below are a few ways that the Daddy relationships I have experienced, how it can go, has gone, does go or makes me crave it to go in a certain direction.
Daddy/girl: The Daddy/girl (assume this covers boi, boy and all other possible orientations but I’m just using girl because I’m thinking in terms of *me*) relationship is usually a type of D/s relationship. The girl may serve the Daddy’s whims, could have set tasks, chores and even homework. There may or may not be a sexual aspect to the Daddy/girl dynamic, but it is generally a 24/7(ish) thing. This means that the girl may only be able to call him (or her) Daddy unless they are out in public and she has been instructed/allowed to call him something else whether that be Sir or his name. What Daddy says, goes. He makes the rules. He will discipline when needed and nurture when needed.
Sadistic Daddy: The Sadistic Daddy is one that takes joy in punishing and disciplining his girl. The Sadistic Daddy could even set up tasks or chores that are unachievable just so they can discipline their girl. This is a power exchange that is pre-negotiated (or sure as shit should be) between both parties.
The Nurturer: This is an interesting dynamic. The Nurturer can, but doesn’t have to, have a power exchange. If it doesn’t involve a power exchange, it may just be an endearing term for a man (woman, boi, ect.) who the bottom feels submissive to in presence (it could even be fleeting moments). It can almost be platonic in that its just a title and nothing more. There may be certain things that trigger the D-word like having meals cooked for us, checking in on us and generally taking care of us just because The Nurturer *wants* to.
If there is a power exchange, The Nurturer may be taking care of the bottom just to remind them that he is in charge. He makes decisions of what is eaten, what the plan is and other things of that nature.
The Disciplinarian: The Disciplinarian has a couple variables. He may, or may not be a sadist. The Disciplinarian may set tasks just to keep structure and it is a subtle reminder to who is in charge. The Disciplinarian has the bottoms best interest in mind and these are generally reflected in tasks. The Disciplinarian will hold you accountable and refuses to let you fail. No task will be unachievable. He may not enjoy punishing you if you slip up, but keeping his word and keeping you on track are both important to this dynamic. Sadistic Disciplinarians generally still fit this description but they may take joy from getting to punish you. The Disciplinarian may not make all of the rules without first consulting the bottom, but his word is the law. Period.
The Maintenance Daddy: the Maintenance Daddy will be willing to give spankings (or some sort of negotiated activity) as a reminder to stay on track. This sort of spanking isn’t meant to leave bruises, lasting marks or be a serious session as much as its a “gentle” reminder not to slip up.
The Sexual Daddy: The Sexual Daddy likes to role play when it leads to sex. Dressing like a cheerleader, school girl and other things of the like which turns the Sexual Daddy on. The Sexual Daddy may like “dirty talk” with anything from “please fuck my ass Daddy” to resistance play “no, Daddy! Please don’t” (but you really want him to and he was going to do it no matter what you said). There may (or may not) be a power exchange dynamic in this relationship as well.
The Bedroom Daddy: the Bedroom Daddy is only okay being called Daddy in the bedroom. It’s not a dynamic or a Daddy/girl relationship, it’s really just for occasional fun to spice things up.
These aren’t set-in-stone dynamics but examples of the varieties of Daddy types. These may overlap or not even come close to one another. There is no “wrong” way to have a Daddy relationship. It’s all about finding what works for the parties involved and modifying it to fit what is desired.